THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING & THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA REACTION
Chapter excerpt from the novel, The scent of fresh cut grass, by Keith Salter.
What follows is an account of the media transmissions published daily by the Department of Squatting. A similar account is provided for the mainstream media.
DAY ONE • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
WHERE IS MARCHMAN KILLEEN?
Yesterday, as noble squatters took control of the RexPark building in a dashing display of derring-do, Marchman Killeen ran off into the ether. But to where exactly? Killeen, an important representative of RexPark, the company famous for its mercenary misadventures, was last seen running down Tessington Road in Mooreville, after absconding from a media scrum that had been invited to interview both him and a special guest. Now important questions so far remain unanswered as to the whereabouts of Killeen, a man of some intrigue and mystery. Where might he be?
REXPARK ARE VICIOUS WARMONGERING BASTARDS
The RexPark mercenary company have a plan for the world that may involve you. If RexPark can get a toehold into the country you live in, you had better watch out! Their master plan is to create a special economic zone that RexPark has exclusive control over. RexPark calls this the Bastard Country. Don’t take our word for it; check out the RexPark website. These cocky types have no shame! Once RexPark gets its Bastard Country, you can bet that all sorts of really awful stuff will begin to occur. The most likely of which, is that the Bastard Country will serve as a staging post for a new international war.
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
The Department of Squatting is open for business and ready for action. To date, we have squatted the RexPark premises located in Tessington Road, Mooreville. We understand the value and importance of local community action. We respect our neighbours in the local area and send them much love. As it stands, the Department of Squatting has a serious concern in relation to mercenary companies operating within the local area. Our analysis indicates that mercenary companies like RexPark are little more than vehicles for plunder, theft, and murder. The Department of Squatting states unequivocally: REXPARK MUST GET OUT NOW! All enquiries can be made through our onsite call centre, on this number. The enquiry service is free over VOIP and is staffed by locals. Want to know more about RexPark? Want to know more about squatting? Call the Department of Squatting. You know it makes sense.
WHY SQUATTING REMAINS GERMANE TO OUR PURPOSE
The act of squatting provides the sole means through which material space may be actually detached from a bad actor such as RexPark. Likewise, the act of squatting is the sole means through which material space, once drawn away from the bad actor, can be instantaneously transformed and modified to the benefit of the wider community. Hence, the act of squatting remains germane to our purpose.
Birdie and I then undertook a range of complementary media activities. This included expanding our case to embrace visual communication, and some direct weblinks to accommodate referencing which in turn would provide curious readers with greater evidence. Therefore, these four short blurbs were published as a single statement. Together with our statement, Birdie uploaded a still image, derived from the video he had previously shot, of Marchman Killeen engaging with James Saffron in the carpark beside the RexPark building. He added a red circle to indicate Killeen. I added a weblink to the RexPark website homepage, and another direct link to the thesis or essay, The Bastard Country, The Entity, and The Proxy, which we had found by clicking on the UK RAIN logo. I also uploaded some images of the RexPark building that now displayed the banners that we had hung across the large panes of reinforced glass. The inclusion of these final images served to visually confirm our presence and enhanced our message. It also meant that social media users could begin to develop a clear mental picture of what the Department of Squatting was actually engaged in. By the afternoon of day one the mainstream media had begun to show signs of interest in our action.
DAY ONE • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
SQUATTERS TAKE REXPARK BUILDING
In what may turn out to be a rather serious affair, a group of squatters have taken over the RexPark building in Tessington Road, Mooreville. The squatters have barricaded themselves inside and hung banners in the windows that infer that RexPark is engaged in unlawful activity. So far, these allegations remain unsubstantiated. The squatters have also published an image of Marchman Killeen of RexPark and James Saffron, patron donor to children’s charities. At present, it is not understood why this image had been published by the squatters. The Morning Mirror has attempted to contact RexPark for comment but had not received a response at the time of publishing.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
As above, but contact attempted by AA staff.
THE EVENING TWINKLE
As above, but contact attempted by ET staff.
DAY TWO • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
WHERE ARE THE REXPARK STAFF?
On Wednesday afternoon, a large contingent of courageous squatters marched into the RexPark building on Tessington Road, Mooreville, where they remain in a state of bliss. All seven floors of the RexPark building are currently within the domain of the Department of Squatting. It must be said, that after conducting a rigorous floor by floor search, no RexPark officer could be located onsite. No boss, no manager, no security, nada. Which brings us to the subject of Marchman Killeen, seen on the day standing in the adjacent car park in the vicinity of a hot pink Humvee, engaged in discussion with various media personalities. Where are the RexPark staff?
REXPARK KILLS CHILDREN!
RexPark recruits, trains, arms, and transports, a private army of mercenaries around the globe. The recruits that RexPark assembles are not your average person seeking paid employment. These are hardcore killers, who live without morals, and travel on safari. The prey that they hunt is human. RexPark mercenaries operate without constraint and will kill you and your family before looting your life savings. RexPark aim to penetrate your country and your home, and when they do, they will not ask for your consent. Children need parents, but RexPark mercenaries will make these children orphans!
DAY TWO • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
SQUATTERS MAKE CURIOUS STATEMENT
For the second day in a row, squatters have published a curious statement regarding RexPark employee, Marchman Killeen. These two statements appear to suggest that Killeen is either in hiding or is missing. As this is a serious development, Morning Mirror staff have contacted local police and are presently waiting for police to issue a formal statement. It should also be noted that the squatters, having barricaded themselves inside the RexPark building located at 242 Tessington Road, Mooreville, are seemingly operating multiple social media accounts under the name, the Department of Squatting.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
As above.
THE EVENING TWINKLE
As above.
THE NATION
SQUATTER INFESTATION IN MOOREVILLE
Squatters have overrun a building on Tessington Road, Mooreville, and are making threats against the company, RexPark, which owns the building. During the afternoon of Wednesday past, and whilst Mr. Marchman Killeen was generously hosting a children’s charity event, and who was conducting a valuable information session with seasoned journalists in the adjacent carpark, also owned by RexPark, the squatters scurried into the RexPark building, menacing a dedicated employee who was busily going about his work. As of now, the squatters, who have since defaced the RexPark building with unfounded accusations, which they claim are true, but for which there remains not a shred of evidence, remain in control of the RexPark building. The Nation understands that local police have been called to the RexPark building and that an arrest has been made. We, at The Nation, view this as a positive development. Rest assured, dear reader, The Nation will not sit by idly whilst the unwavering rights of property and business owners are trampled upon.
DAY THREE • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
IS MARCHMAN KILLEEN ON THE RUN?
Another day has passed by and RexPark recruiter Marchman Killeen is still nowhere to be found. Wherever could he be? Killeen was last seen legging it down Tessington Road at full pelt. A large media contingent, which had been interviewing Killeen at the time, observed Killeen sprinting away from both media pack and RexPark building. It remains a rather curious spectacle that zero public declarations have been made by any of these eyewitnesses.
REXPARK: MERCENARIES AND FASCISTS
The purpose of the RexPark mercenary is to travel to someone else’s country and then to start shooting at the local people. After RexPark mercenaries have killed enough people, they can then establish a zone of control. At this point, martial law is declared within the foreign nation, with RexPark mercenaries serving as military police. The new police force then begins local recruitment, and fascists, both ideological and criminal, along with deadbeat opportunists, combine with the RexPark mercenaries to expand their zone of control into greater geographical territory. Now, we politely request that you imagine the same RexPark mercenaries, the same fascists, bearing down upon the streets of your city, town, suburb, or village. Ask yourself, would you simply lie down and take it?
DAY THREE • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
MARCHMAN KILLEEN MISSING
Marchman Killeen, the RexPark employee who has not been seen since the afternoon of last Wednesday, does in fact appear to be missing. The Morning Mirror received confirmation from local police that Killeen is currently being sought by them for questioning. It was stressed by police that Killeen is not wanted for any crime, but that he may be able to assist police with their inquiries. The Morning Mirror will keep you updated with any further developments as they arise.
SQUATTERS PUBLISH DETAILS OF REXPARK ACTIVITIES
Squatters who remain in control of the RexPark premises located on Tessington Road, Mooreville, have once again published serious accusations against RexPark on their social media channel, the Department of Squatting. The squatters claim that RexPark is a mercenary recruitment company that kills non-combatants overseas. Whilst this may appear to be an unattractive avenue of paid employment for some, private contracting remains a valid and necessary supplement to our national armed forces. The squatters should not be ungrateful towards our servicemen and servicewomen.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
SQUATTERS PUBLISH CLAIMS
Squatters who remain in control of the RexPark premises located on Tessington Road, Mooreville, have once again published serious accusations against RexPark on their social media channel, the Department of Squatting. The squatters claim that RexPark is a mercenary recruitment company that has plans to establish a Bastard Country overseas, which RexPark will operate as a special economic zone.
THE EVENING TWINKLE
SQUATTERS PUBLISH CLAIMS & LEAK FURTHER DETAILS
Squatters who remain in control of the RexPark premises located on Tessington Road, Mooreville, have once again published serious accusations against RexPark on their social media channel, the Department of Squatting. The squatters claim that RexPark is a mercenary recruitment company that has plans to establish a Bastard Country overseas, which RexPark will operate as a special economic zone. Details of the RexPark policy have been further leaked by the squatters, and ET staff are currently assessing the material that has been provided to them.
DAY FOUR • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
IT’S TIME FOR MARCHMAN KILLEEN TO SPEAK
When squatters secured the RexPark building several days ago, they discovered that the seven storey building had been kept in a state of neglect and was largely abandoned. During a floor by floor search, it became apparent that RexPark could not have been utilising the premises for any legitimate business purpose. To the utter dismay and astonishment of the noble squatters who had intervened that day, there was not a single computer terminal onsite. Nothing was being stored or reserved. No kitchen was stocked. No functioning office could be found. These discoveries suggest an irregular mode of operation on the part of RexPark. Perhaps Marchman Killeen can explain this?
REXPARK: THE MECHANICS OF DIVIDE & RULE
Without legal, moral, or human rights, available in material and tangible form, the human is diminished to the level of subhuman. It is a transformation that is forcefully applied from the outside in, first through either military or administrative measures, and then through both operating in tandem. This is the precise scenario that RexPark wishes to unveil and realise within overseas territories. To make it happen, RexPark will seek to convince one section of the local populace that another section of the same populace is the source of their hardships and misfortunes. The accused will be blamed for the material effects of class oppression and held responsible for the natural fluctuations that occur between humans and their circumstances. Soon enough, as tensions rise and resentments build, the pogroms will begin. And, RexPark profits will soar!
DAY FOUR • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
SQUATTERS PROVIDE INVENTORY
Squatters today published an inventory describing what they claim to have found within the RexPark premises located on Tessington Road, Mooreville. The squatters have stated through their social media account that the building, which has seven floors, is sparsely furnished, and remains in a state of neglect. The squatters also state that no person in a position of authority from RexPark has approached them regarding their current occupation of the RexPark premises. The Morning Mirror understands this may raise a few eyebrows.
DETAILS OF PHOTOGRAPH PUBLISHED BY SQUATTERS RELEASED
Police have today confirmed the identities of the two men depicted in a photograph that had previously been published by the Department of Squatting social media account. The two men have been named by police as one, Marchman Killeen, and the other, James Saffron. It remains unclear as to why the squatters have published this photograph. However, in related developments, police have stated that Killeen has still not been located, but that, Saffron, an eccentric philanthropist, and a known donor to children’s charities, has been taken into custody. The police declined to provide any details of Saffron’s arrest, saying only that their investigation was sensitive and ongoing.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
JAMES SAFFRON, WEALTHY DONOR, IN POLICE CUSTODY
Over the past twenty four hours, the Afternoon Aegis has been made aware of some surprising facts. James Saffron, wealthy donor and philanthropist, notable for his contributions to children’s welfare charities, has been arrested and is currently being held in police custody. No details are currently available regarding the circumstances of Saffron’s arrest. Local police, when contacted recently by AA staff, confirmed the arrest of Saffron, and have stated their investigation is sensitive and ongoing. Curiously, the last known sighting of James Saffron was in the RexPark carpark located on Tessington Road, Mooreville. This information was relayed via a photograph that squatters, currently ensconced within the RexPark building, had published via their social media account earlier this week.
THE EVENING TWINKLE
UNUSUAL ONGOINGS
It does appear that some rather unusual ongoings have occurred this week in Mooreville. The most evident being that a large contingent of squatters have moved themselves into the RexPark building at 242 Tessington Road. Perhaps unusually for squatters, who seemingly prefer to go about things quietly in most scenarios, a number of banners have been hung from the RexPark premises that remain visible from the street. The banners make various statements that may or may not be true. What I wish to bring the reader’s attention to is the fact that these squatters appear to be intelligent, organised, tech-savvy, and quite convinced of something that clearly motivates each of them. It may prove worthwhile for all of us to listen to what the squatters have to say before we make any harsh judgements.
DAY FIVE • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
MARCHMAN KILLEEN REMAINS AT LARGE
Marchman Killeen remains at large. Killeen is directly involved with RexPark’s activities, which include the promotion of murder and mayhem. Killeen has been observed making the business case for the most horrid and awful production lines known to humanity:
WAR > ORDNANCE EXPERIMENTATION > LIVE HUMANS > DEATH & DESTRUCTION
WAR > BIOLOGICAL EXPERIMENTATION > LIVE HUMANS > DEATH & DESTRUCTION
WAR > ORPHANS > TRAFFICKING > ANATOMICAL HARVESTING > DEATH & DESTRUCTION
Take a moment and let that sink in. RexPark argues that a section of the local populace is nothing more than fresh meat awaiting harvest season. Given the gravitas of the information that has most recently come to light, we ask politely, why won’t Marchman Killeen come forward and help us to make sense of all this?
JAMES SAFFRON IS AN ASSOCIATE OF MARCHMAN KILLEEN
As reported by the MSM, James Saffron, the tanned and wrinkly specimen who blocks local traffic with his oversize hot pink Humvee, is currently being held in police custody. Earlier this week, the Department of Squatting published a photograph showing Saffron interacting with Killeen. It would appear, on the face of it alone, that Saffron and Killeen are associates. Perhaps, Marchman Killeen will turn up and shed some light on current developments.
REXPARK WANTS TO HARVEST OUR BODIES
RexPark would very much like to procure a piece of the action in the flesh trade. Anatomical harvesting is a highly profitable enterprise, where demand for live human organ hardware remains strong. With the right international connections, delivering hardware direct to the customer is achievable. The problem herein lies with individual procurement and production line inputs. For an enterprise such as this, which relies solely on human tissue sourced or extracted from donors, the problem with the former relates to matching customer tissue, whilst the problem with the latter relates to quantity. The business solution, absent all moral considerations, it to hunt and kill people.
DAY FIVE • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
SQUATTERS CLAIM REXPARK BODY HARVESTING
Claims have been made today by the Department of Squatting that RexPark is involved in, or intends to become involved in, the business of anatomical harvesting. Whilst harvesting body parts remains a quite normal practice within our modern society, it is conducted exclusively by medical professionals operating under strict guidelines. Donor recipients who have received an organ to replace a failing one have relied upon the donor harvesting industry. Many lives have been saved or extended through the use of harvested body tissue. However, given the nature of RexPark’s primary business of private mercenary contracting, which involves shooting and killing, it remains absolutely reckless and quite unsavoury to consider such an outfit as appropriate for the donor industry.
SQUATTERS SAY JAMES SAFFRON INVOLVED WITH MARCHMAN KILLEEN
Squatters today claimed that James Saffron, currently held in police custody, is an associate of Marchman Killeen. The photograph of both men standing together in the RexPark car park, published by the Department of Squatting earlier this week, does seem to suggest some sort of connection. Police continue to search for Killeen, who went missing earlier this week after leaving the RexPark building on Tessington Road, Mooreville. Killeen was last seen running along Tessington Road, in the direction of the local Captain Chicken franchise.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
COPS WON’T RELEASE SAFFRON
James Saffron continues to be held in police custody. Saffron has now spent several days under police arrest. AA staff spoke earlier today with an authorised police media representative who is familiar with this matter, Senior Sergeant Roland Moss. Senior Sergeant Moss stated that Saffron had so far been helpful in assisting the police with their inquiries, and that Saffron would remain under arrest.
Senior Sergeant Moss declined to provide any further information. Details regarding Saffron’s arrest remain unclear. When asked about any possible connection between Saffron and the still missing Killeen, Senior Sergeant Moss similarly declined to respond.
THE EVENING TWINKLE
TESSINGTON ROAD SQUATTERS SAY NO TO REXPARK BODY HARVESTING
In what may be a ghastly proposition, RexPark is expanding into the business of body part harvesting. I say ghastly, because RexPark is already a serious operator within the private military contractor market, whose main purpose is to kill people. It doesn’t take much imagination to understand that war and military conflict produce a high number of casualties. The bodies of the recently deceased offer a profitable bounty for a shrewd operator. However, it quickly becomes a ghastly and macabre proposition when you consider that to increase profits RexPark must kill even more people! The AA team agree, RexPark should stick to its main line of business.

DAY SIX • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
IS REXPARK SIMPLY A SHELL COMPANY?
One may truly wonder what RexPark actually consists of. Could it be vapour and mist? It does appear that RexPark is one of those paper companies that you may have heard about. You know the kind that has papers of incorporation, the legal foundation of the business entity, but which seemingly has little else. Take for example the current status of the RexPark building in Mooreville. These seven floors quite clearly have not been utilised professionally for a very long time. Which raises the question, so what, or what else, does RexPark actually do with all this available space? Now let’s take a further example. One can reasonably assume that RexPark has a management team positioned somewhere. But where precisely? The Department of Squatting has not heard a squeak from RexPark. Not even a telephone call or email or discreet whisper. Hey RexPark, where you at?
REXPARK: CAN BUSINESS BE TEMPERED BY MORAL RESTRAINT?
An important question for humans is can business be tempered by moral restraint? Can a business entity, which exists to maximise profit and expand influence, also be constrained by morality, or professional ethics, or by old fashioned common decency? And now, another question. If RexPark, or a business similar to the RexPark enterprise, should exceed the limits of national law, or international law, or both, then, what is the mechanism to be activated, and what is the methodology to be applied, in order to promptly and correctly curtail RexPark, or those acting similarly? And, how can any formal decision be swiftly invoked so as to generate a halting effect?
DAY SIX • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
SQUATTERS QUESTION STATUS OF REXPARK BUSINESS
In what has been an extraordinary week of developments so far, the Department of Squatting has once again kept up their campaign against RexPark, publishing more revelations. The squatters state that the RexPark building had been left in a state of utter neglect. And that, no one from the RexPark management team has followed up with them. In fairness to the squatters, they do make an important point. If no corporate body or authorised person has contacted the squatters, how does RexPark plan to resolve this matter? As the squatters are presently inside the RexPark building, and not going anywhere, it is rather difficult for police to ascertain that a crime has been committed, if indeed any crime has been committed at all. It may be determined that it is a matter for the local council. However, unless council is the owner of the RexPark property, there is little council can do except enforce the by-laws, which does not include eviction of the squatters.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
SAFFRON CHARGES PENDING; TASK FORCE GARNET ESTABLISHED
Police this afternoon confirmed that James Saffron will be facing charges, although police did not specify what charges precisely. When asked by AA staff, police declined to provide further details, only stating that a press conference would be held tomorrow afternoon. One significant development that did come to light is that a formal investigation would now commence, and that Task Force Garnet would take the lead in this matter. Task Force Garnet will be headed up by Detective Sergeant Stephen Harmer.
THE EVENING TWINKLE
COPS DUE TO RELEASE SAFFRON INFO TOMORROW
Tomorrow afternoon local police will hold a press conference to confirm rumours that multi-millionaire James Saffron is about to be charged. With what crimes or offences, we do not yet know. In a related twist, police also announced the formation of Task Force Garnet. Currently, it remains to be seen precisely what the Task Force Garnet will undertake, what its mission will be, and what parameters the task force will operate within.
DAY SEVEN • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
HAS MARCHMAN KILLEEN FLED THE JURISDICTION?
The question on the tip of everybody’s tongue is, has Marchman Killeen fled the jurisdiction? In case you don’t know, Killeen has not been seen or heard from since he fled down Tessington Road, Mooreville, last Wednesday afternoon. RexPark assets are extensive and include the means of international transportation. RexPark operates a fleet of aircraft and seacraft for both passengers and cargo. Given that RexPark is in the business of transporting mercenaries around our planet, how difficult would it be for Killeen to hitch a ride and abscond to an overseas territory?
REXPARK: THE NEW FEUDAL LORD?
Ever since the global financial crisis precipitated an enormous tidal wave of residential housing foreclosures, the odds in favour of personal and familial independence have diminished significantly. Simply put, many millions of people now sleep upon the couch or in a spare bed at the home of a relative. Others, less fortunate, sleep on the streets or in their vehicles, whilst the rest leave town under the pressure of forced expulsion. Observing this crisis unfold in real time, RexPark set about hoovering up all the discounted housing stock that it could finance, largely through debt leverage. Through this act, RexPark has become the largest residential property landlord in more than one country. In the absence of genuine choices, does the relationship between a small class of property owning landlords and an elephantine class of renters, tenants, lodgers, and boarders, not somehow resemble the relationship between feudal lord and serf peasant?
DAY SEVEN • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
POLICE PRESS CONFERENCE UPCOMING
Police yesterday indicated that they would hold a press conference this afternoon in relation to serious matters regarding James Saffron. Police had previously stated that Saffron, 58, of Snotterposh, would be facing charges. Saffron is currently being held in police custody.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
JAMES SAFFRON CHARGED
Police today announced that they have now brought forward charges against James Saffron, who has been held in police custody this past week. Senior Sergeant Roland Moss stated that James Saffron, 58, of Snotterposh, would be charged with serious crimes related to his engagement with minors. Senior Sergeant Moss further indicated that Saffron would be held on remand pending a court hearing. The date of the hearing is yet to be determined.
TASK FORCE GARNET SEEK KILLEEN
Commander of the recently constituted Task Force Garnet, Detective Sergeant Stephen Harmer, has today stated that police will open several lines of inquiry. Commander Harmer confirmed that one line of inquiry concerned the missing RexPark employee Marchman Killeen, with Commander Harmer identifying Killeen as a person of interest. Commander Harmer also stated that officers from Task Force Garnet would be interviewing James Saffron over the next few days.
THE EVENING TWINKLE
SAFFRON CHARGES COMING; ARREST DETAILS PROVIDED BY POLICE
Information is currently coming to light regarding the police arrest and pending prosecution of multi-millionaire James Saffron, 58, of Snotterposh. Saffron will be expected to attend the court hearing in coming days. When ET staff inquired with police as to the circumstances of Saffron’s arrest by Senior Sergeant Roland Moss and Sergeant William Klubb, the Evening Twinkle was provided with these details. Police were called to attend a serious matter at the address of 242 Tessington Road, Mooreville. When police entered the premises, they found Saffron completely naked and dishevelled. Police further stated that squatters were also on the premises at the time of Saffron’s arrest. The squatters did not obstruct police and assisted the police with their inquiries.
DAY EIGHT • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
THE BASTARD COUNTRY, THE ENTITY, AND THE PROXY
The above is the title of an essay published by the RexPark mercenary company. It can be found on their website, and by clicking on the UK RAIN logo, weblinks supplied below. In short, the essay describes in detail RexPark’s plans to create a special economic zone that favours them exclusively. RexPark identifies this zone as the Bastard Country. The essay then proceeds to discuss The Entity, which is simply the RexPark corporation that will apply a variety of business structures to a multitude of underground markets in order to generate profits. Finally, the essay elaborates upon The Proxy, which is the means of local control, perhaps a government that RexPark has significant sway over. In sum, the RexPark Entity will drain away all life from The Bastard Country.
STATEMENT PERTAINING TO THE ARREST OF JAMES SAFFRON
The Department of Squatting would like to clarify some important details. During our day of action which occurred last Wednesday, we did encounter James Saffron. During this most unpleasant encounter, we observed Saffron without any clothing and in the company of four young children. After several seconds passed, whilst we adjusted our minds to this ghastly sight, Saffron was restrained. At the same time, the four children were wrapped in protective kaffiyehs before being swiftly escorted away from, and kept away from, the naked Saffron. Whilst restraining Saffron, using no more than minimal force to eject him, we contacted the police, explained the situation in full, and peacefully waited for police to arrive. Upon arrival, Saffron was handed over to the police. Material evidence was also handed over to police at this time. Once Saffron was locked inside a police car, the four children were also received by police. End.
DAY EIGHT • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
SQUATTERS SHINE BRIGHTLY
In startling revelations today, the Department of Squatting has provided a statement regarding the arrest of James Saffron. Saffron, 58, of Snotterposh, has now been charged with serious criminal offences, remains in police custody, and is currently awaiting a court appearance. The statement made by the squatters seemingly indicates that Saffron was indeed situated upon the premises of 242 Tessington Road, Mooreville, at the time of the squatter’s entry onto the premises. The squatters have described this ‘ghastly’ encounter saying that they had restrained Saffron after they had discovered him ‘without any clothing and in the company of four young children.’ The squatters then called the police and handed over the subdued Saffron before also observing the four children received into police protective custody. If such things are indeed true, and the Morning Mirror has no reason to doubt these things at this time, then we surely owe a debt of gratitude to these squatters and their Department of Squatting.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
POLICE CONFIRM SQUATTER’S TALE
Police have now confirmed that the statement issued earlier today by the Department of Squatting is factually accurate. Senior Sergeant Roland Moss, who was attending on the scene at the time, and who was one of the arresting officers of James Saffron, said that police had been called to the site by the squatters. Senior Sergeant Moss also said that the squatters were orderly and peaceful and were not engaged in any public disturbance at the time of Saffron’s arrest. Moss further indicated four minors had been received by police, also whilst attending at the Tessington Road site, and that the minors had been checked by medical staff who had subsequently declared them to be healthy but a little undernourished. Senior Sergeant Moss then thanked the squatters for their calm approach during a serious matter and described their swift efforts to get police involved as ‘commendable.’
THE EVENING TWINKLE
POLICE CONFIRM SQUATTER’S STATEMENT
As above, direct copy from the Afternoon Aegis, supplemented with an important addendum.
As things move forward, and often at a rapid pace, we can become easily distracted from what actually matters. Somehow, over the past week, the Department of Squatting has shone a blazing light upon the important stuff. The squatters have this past week mounted a dignified resistance against the worst excesses of capitalism. And in doing so, they have shown to all of us, what can be done, and perhaps what must be done, once any of us begin to see the red line clearly.
THE NATION
POLICE MUST PROTECT PROPERTY OWNERS
The rights of property owners cannot simply be overturned by the actions of the local working class. The accumulation of an individual property portfolio is a time-honoured tradition and is properly considered to be the right thing to do. The ownership of property assists others by providing them with worthwhile and gainful employment. As a property portfolio is an important asset class for the serious investor, due to its historical performance as an evergreen earner, we find it absurd to perceive the value of property on the basis of its domestic use. Whether or not any individual property is currently in use in any specified manner remains utterly irrelevant. Property owners must be quite free to do whatever they so determine with the contents of each portfolio, and it remains the job of our police force to ensure that the rights of property owners are in no way diminished.
DAY NINE • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
IS MARCHMAN KILLEEN MISSING OR IS HE ON THE LAM?
It remains a simple fact that Marchman Killeen has not been observed for over a week. Is Killeen missing or is he on the lam? On the one hand, one may begin to wonder whether Killeen has gotten himself lost somewhere or has concealed himself incommunicado in some out of the way place. On the other hand, perhaps Killeen is still running, having taken flight after possibly hearing about his associate’s fate. In either case, Killeen is anywhere but here.
WOULD YOU TRUST REXPARK WITH HAZARDOUS BIOLOGICAL MATERIALS?
RexPark has developed a plan that would declare a section of the local population to be subhuman. Once enacted, RexPark would be in a position to conduct medical and biological experiments on the communities newly identified as subhuman. Due to the lowly status of the subhuman, RexPark can argue that they have zero legal obligations to inform the subhumans of any live and active testing. The subhumans must simply take it and suffer. Communities receiving RexPark’s unwanted attention will experience outbreaks of disease. These diseases will include those formerly eradicated and those recently combined into completely new strains. The introduced diseases will no doubt come to the attention of outsiders once social clusters formulate and mass presentations begin to occur at hospitals and medical facilities. And, all the while RexPark boffins will harvest data to further perfect their destruction of humans.
DAY NINE • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
KILLEEN REMAINS A PERSON OF INTEREST
The Morning Mirror has this morning contacted police regarding the status of the search for Marchman Killeen, the RexPark employee who went missing last week. Police have now described their search for Killeen as a matter for Task Force Garnet. At this stage, the police are not treating the matter as a missing persons case, although Killeen remains a person of interest.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
REXPARK ESSAY IN SPOTLIGHT
Squatters today made claims that RexPark may possibly begin performing experiments upon live humans without their knowledge. The squatters say that RexPark is invested in medical and biological experimentation that will be used to collect data regarding the effects of introduced diseases. Whilst this may seem far-fetched, and would violate international law, the publication by RexPark of an incendiary essay entitled, The Bastard Country, The Entity, and The Proxy, has not helped matters. The essay seems to indicate that what the squatters are saying may be true, if only as a theoretical consideration.
THE EVENING TWINKLE
POLICE MAKE STATEMENT REGARDING MARCHMAN KILLEEN
Police this evening have stated that Marchman Killeen has fled the country. Police have announced their finding within the past hour. Task Force Garnet Commander Stephen Harmer described the scenario as one where Killeen had sailed into international waters bound for parts unknown. The RexPark cargo vessel, MINIMUM WAGER, disembarked earlier this evening, apparently with Killeen onboard, and was currently headed out to high sea. Commander Harmer indicated that Passport Control had informed police of Killeen’s departure.
DAY TEN • MORNING
THE DEPARTMENT OF SQUATTING
REXPARK HUNTING PARTY ON HUMAN SAFARI
There is something undeniably smug about Marchman Killeen. After all, things just seem to work out profitably for him, don’t you agree? It has been reported that Killeen has embarked upon a leisurely sea cruise to rest his tired leg muscles and soothe his frayed nerves. Killeen is seemingly able to exit one country and no doubt enter another with swiftness and ease. It remains the case that RexPark operates in a similar manner. In and out of other people’s countries, no invitation necessary. RexPark, the hunting party on human safari. Blood for the vampires and flesh for the hyenas. We bear witness to this slaughter and say NO MORE! We’re looking right at you, Killeen.
REXPARK FINDS PURPOSE IN USELESS WAR
RexPark disperse their mercenary forces about the world to wreak havoc and destruction. RexPark does this to alter the facts on the ground. Having changed the material circumstances to their liking, RexPark can then commence their business. There are many branches of profitable enterprise, particularly in war torn regions, but let’s focus on a single example. Once the bombs start going off, and the bullets come flying in, and many local people die, the rest of the population will flee. At this juncture, RexPark can make a discounted offer to either government or warlord and buy up all the vacant land and empty properties. Precisely the same land and property that was in use and inhabited prior to RexPark’s arrival.
THANK YOU TO ALL SUPPORTERS
The Department of Squatting would like to extend an enormous thank you to all of the kind and lovely people that have supported us throughout our campaign. We really do appreciate both you and your efforts. We are simple people just like you, and therefore, we rely extensively upon solidarity and mutual aid. Some of you have brought along food, others have dropped by just to say keep it up, whilst others still have taken up a lively picket out front of our SQUAT, which will soon be transformed to include a local community centre on the ground floor. Once again, thank you all so very much.
DAY TEN • AFTERNOON – MSM
THE MORNING MIRROR
KILLEEN SLIPS THROUGH NET
The missing Marchman Killeen has been identified by police as a passenger traveling upon the cargo vessel MINIMUM WAGER, a RexPark owned shipping container sea transit vehicle. It remains a question of speculation how exactly Killeen was able to slip through Passport Control, embark upon a RexPark owned sea vessel, and leave the country without being noticed. Killeen, whom police have listed as a person of interest in an ongoing investigation headed by Task Force Garnet, is now bound for parts unknown.
THE AFTERNOON AEGIS
TEN DAYS OF TUMULT
The last ten days have been somewhat tumultuous. Firstly, squatters moved into the RexPark building in Mooreville. Secondly, James Saffron is restrained by squatters onsite and handed over to police. Third, the squatters assist in escorting four kids off the premises and into police protective custody. Four, Saffron is charged by police with serious crimes. Five, Marchman Killeen, the RexPark employee who might have shed some light on activities that may have occurred within the Tessington Road premises, is discovered to be travelling luxuriously upon the high seas. Upon reflection, it must be said, that none of this would have occurred if the squatters had not turned up.
THE EVENING TWINKLE
SQUATTERS WIN CONTEST WITH REXPARK
Marchman Killeen may indeed be sailing upon the high seas, but it is the squatters of Mooreville who appear to be the true victors in this contest. Having taken possession of the RexPark building, and in which they currently remain, the squatters have over recent days precipitated the removal from circulation of a dangerous individual, by handing him over to police. Moreover, the squatters continue to release what is seemingly well researched information regarding RexPark and their business activities. Their Department of Squatting may not have matched up against the new modern art, but it does not have to, and their daily written feeds and responses demonstrate valuable insight into the topics that they raise. More things may yet go in the squatter’s favour.
SQUATTERS MAY REMAIN ONSITE
Late this afternoon, Mooreville Council has announced that Council do not own the premises located at 242 Tessington Road. Council spokesperson, Nora Nesbitt, stated that Council would vigorously enforce local by-laws. Council also stated that it is up to RexPark to either make arrangements with the squatters or to contact the police for further assistance. In the meantime, Council has confirmed the squatters may remain onsite and warned that permits were required for many activities.

The scent of fresh cut grass | Keith Salter | ©2024

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